Wedding Planning with Chronic Illness

If you or your spouse-to-be have one or more long-term conditions, planning a wedding which meets your health needs but still feels celebratory can feel like a challenge. Town hall weddings and fish and chips for dinner is a great option (it's what I did), but, if you're keen for a bigger, more traditional day, here are some tips from a hypermobile wedding photographer in Scotland who has learned them all the hard way:

Let's be clear: you can wear whatever you like to get married. Sparkly dungas and DMs? Yes, please! But, if you want a traditional "bridal" look, wedding dresses do not have to be structured affairs that you can't sit down in and there's a reason personalised trainers are the current cool shoe choice for weddings. The formal/partywear section of your preferred clothing brand may offer more comfortable options than a wedding dress shop. Likewise, if thick makeup or loose tendrils of hair will bring you out in hives, don't do them - the advice to wear thick makeup "for the photos" is absolutely incorrect (in fact, it makes my job harder).

You don't have to walk down the aisle or stand through your ceremony, if you don't want to - and you DEFINITELY don't need to ditch your mobility aids. You can be seated throughout. You can tell your registrar/celebrant to skip the "please stand if you are able" part of the ceremony. In some venues, you can have the seats arranged in a horseshoe layout if that feels more supportive to you.

Leave space in your schedule for relaxing. And I don't just mean "don't overfill your day" or "have a chill out zone at your reception" - I mean, consider having a morning ceremony, an evening reception and spending the afternoon crashed out with a boxset. If budget allows, exclusive use venues offer a home from home feel where you're never too far from a bed and a fridge filled with your favourite snacks.

Half an hour of standing, smiling for photos is a lot for anyone. Keep your group photos to an absolute minimum and consider whether you would rather be seated for them. Likewise, you can get a few good couple photos in five minutes, if you have an experienced photographer.

Nominate someone to look out for you. Get them to keep an eye on your energy levels, advocate for you if you're being pushed too hard, and to remind you of any medication you need to take throughout the day - get them to carry your medicine and set alarms on their phone so you can be handsfree.

If you benefit from eating "little but often" skip the big meal and have buffet options provided throughout the day. Keep a bag of Jelly Babies nearby, just in case. Personally, I find starting and ending a long day with electrolyte drinks really helpful.

Discos and ceilidhs are a blast, but they're optional, and, if you have one, you don't have to dance. No, not even a first dance. Chill out areas with books, board games and/or comfy sofas can work well (and activity packs don't just have to be for children!).

Suppliers, we come with all different personalities; the Type A photographer who spent an hour taking glamorous posed photos of your workmate might not be a match for you. Talk to everyone before booking them and check that they're empathetic people who will know when to tone things down. (If you're looking for a relaxed wedding photographer in Scotland, I'm right here - hi!)

The wedding day hangover is real, even for non-drinkers. If you're staying in a hotel, avoid 10am checkouts - book a late checkout or, ideally, an extra night so you can take your time to recover.